thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
