i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
