i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
