We're facebook friends in real life
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
