if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sorry about my life...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize