So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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