Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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