I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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