I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
