Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
