I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all donβt mix
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
