So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
only if we run a train.
done.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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