Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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