Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
