I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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