Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
