So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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