didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
