Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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