just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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