in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
