its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
