You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
