i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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