she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
