Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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