i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
