im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this boner is exhausting
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
