remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
