i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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