Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
