Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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