no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is my gift to your gina
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
