He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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