Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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