Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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