God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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