Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
