So drunk its hurt
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
