All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
