it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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