Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
