That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
