you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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