I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
