me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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