he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
