just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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