i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
