Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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