u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
