Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
