she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
