I have demons in me.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
