will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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