'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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