why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
